Adult Associate is an intriguing name for a porn web site. What the hell could it mean? Ron Jeremy sits atop the standard and way too common reality style tour page. Can’t webmasters find a new way of depicting their sites? Scrolling down the page past contender number 1 and contender number 2, I am still not clear on what this site is about until I hit the headline "Ron Jeremy’s Quest for an Adult Apprentice". Ha! So this is the porn parody of Donald Trump’s "Apprentice". I guess the Adult Apprentice domain name was already taken. There is a trailer in which Ron Jeremy explains the premise of the site. As the self-described biggest name in porn, the master wants to pass his knowledge and skills on to a successor. Over 16 episodes, we are told, he will try to find that new porn star. However, performers have to be careful with their performances otherwise they will suffer the humiliation of having Ron Jeremy stab his finger at them while he says. "You’re fucked!" The generous number of trailers on the tour provides a comprehensive picture of what we should find inside. Ron Jeremy plays the role of host and I assume judge but I never see that part played in the trailers I view. Other than the trailer at the top of the tour I never see him say, "You’re fucked!" In one trailer Hedgehog as Ron is otherwise known, is the male star of the action. I guess he is giving a little clinic on how it is done. Jeremy, always a little on the pudgy side, has grown an ample gut and is looking a bit jowly and dissipated. I don’t think the gargantuan gut is a good idea Ron. It is making your notorious cock look smaller. If that stupendous stomach keeps growing soon you won’t even be able to see it. Anyway glad to still see you are keeping your dick in the game. You are a great role model to all us aging and widening guys out here. Keep it up.
Once inside, there is no further description of what the site is about. There are, as Ron said in his trailer, 16 videos. Each video is accompanied by a set of large photographs, 800x1200 pixels. I am somewhat surprised to see Mr. Jeremy as the stunt cock in so many of the videos. It is only after I view several videos that I become clear on the concept. Ron is choosing a female apprentice. I thought he was choosing a potential replacement for himself. The first contestant I view is Brianna. The video begins with an interview in which we learn a bit about her and her interests in becoming an Adult Apprentice. Ron and Brianna are sitting in front of a big poster of Ron’s likeness underneath which is written www.adultapprentice.com. I check that link and it redirects back here. It’s a mystery I never solve; why they call it Adult Associate? And poor Brianna, she is given the thumbs down by Ron. She is fucked! The next contestant, Chelsea, Ron obviously must like because she is back for a second time with Ron who fucks her in the ass. How her second visit works within the contest rules is never explained. She actually participates in a third episode with another woman. Here Mr. Jeremy doesn’t even show up in the video. It is a female assistant who sets the scene for the action.
In fact, Mr. Jeremy’s participation in the project is inconsistent. Poor contestant Jacqueline Summers isn’t accorded the courtesy of an interview directly with the big man. Generic shots of him interviewing are editing into her answers. And she is such a sweet looking thing who vigorously follows the instructions Mr. Jeremy’s female assistant gives her for sloppy blowjobbing. I was impressed with the attention she paid to oft overlooked balls. There is no commentary at the end of the video. We have no idea what her status is as a contestant. I give her two thumbs up. The videos are segmented into parts and only available in one size. They can be streamed or downloaded. The quality is good on the 320x240 pixels screen.
Adult Associate is conceived of as a contest to find an apprentice for Ron Jeremy. When a contestant fails to make the grade he tells them "You’re fucked!" instead of "You’re Fired". Haha. Really the contest just seems to serve as a vehicle to hold the 16 videos of boy/girl and girl/girl sex together. Only one contestant is told, "You’re fucked!" Some contestants get three scenes others only one and Ron isn’t present in every video. This site would have worked better if it had taken itself more seriously. There is also not much content as we are clearly told on the tour so no complaining. Whether there will ever be an update is questionable. There are lots of bonus sites included in your membership.